Kevin Smith for Commencement Speaker!

Weekly Editorial

By: Josh Cohick

Posted: 9/28/06

It's getting close to that time of the year again. The time where all of the seniors will sit down long and hard about who they want to be this year's Commencement speaker.

It's a pretty big choice. Do we want to bring in a top-notch poet? We've already had Big Bird come to campus - should we follow that up with the voice behind Elmo? Many colleges and universities are known for getting celebrity speakers to address the graduating class - should we go in that route?

I know I'll have my vote soon enough. However, why not start thinking about things a little early? Why not throw some names out there, and see what all the people think? Who knows - maybe I could even sway somebody into my top vote.

Anyway, here are my top three choices for this year's Commencement speaker.

3. Hugh Laurie - Okay, I'll admit that this one is a purely selfish pick. Laurie currently stars as Dr. Gregory House on FOX's hit drama "House." In my opinion, "House" is the best show on television. Now, how would this tie into Wittenberg, you ask? Well, for years, Wittenberg has had a working relationship with Johns Hopkins University, where students complete three years at Wittenberg and then two at Hopkins in order to earn a Masters in Nursing. And, wouldn't you know it, but guess where the character House earned his medical degree? Hopkins it is! And while he may only play a doctor on TV, Laurie's accquired knowledge of the medical profession, plus his knowledge of the Hollywood system, would make him a solid choice.

2. Bill Simmons - Many people won't know who this is, but avid sports fans who check out ESPN.com on a normal basis should. Simmons writes under the name "The Sports Guy." His columns are featured on the Page 2 section of ESPN.com, and they usually include commentaries on the world of sports, NFL picks (currently, Simmons' wife is beating him for the year in picks - and she refuses to watch football), and answering fan emails. For Wittenberg, a university that takes pride in the success of our athletics, coupled with the newly introduced journalism minor, a sports journalist seems to be a logical choice.

1. Kevin Smith - This is the man I will strongly be pushing for when it comes time to select a speaker. Now, finances may be an issue, but that can be dealt with at a later time. Kevin Smith is one of the most successful independent filmmakers to emerge in the past 15 years. He broke onto the scene with "Clerks," and has given us numerous other projects, such as "Dogma," "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back," and this past summer's "Clerks 2." In all his movies except for one, Smith also portrays the on-screen character Silent Bob - his only line is usually a profound statement toward the end of the film (there is even a Wittenberg-organized Facebook group, proclaiming Jay and Silent Bob as "prophets of the modern era"). In addition, Smith has also embarked on numerous speaking tours, where he hosts question-and-answer sessions at colleges around the country. These events, which usually result in side-splitting laughter and insight into his films and his world view, are documented on the DVDs "An Evening with Kevin Smith," and "An Evening With Kevin Smith 2: Evening Harder," the later to be released in late October. I can say with full confidence that Smith would be an entertaining speaker, and one that students and guests alike would remember for years to come.

You heard it here first - Kevin Smith for 2007 Commencement speaker. I'll be pushing hard for this one whenever voting comes around - who's willing to join me?

Agree? Disagree? The Torch wants to know!

Seniors, who would be your choice for Commencement Speaker?

Email Josh at s07.jcohick@wittenberg.edu, or leave a Letter to the Editor at www.wittenbergtorch.com

Let your voice be heard!